Constructive Criticism

When, How and Who Matters

We all seek advice from someone, somewhere and sometimes for a plethora of reasons. Life advice, financial advice, parenting advice and so much more…

There are a few questions, in my experience, we would benefit from asking ourselves before we embark on the journey for constructive criticism.

Determining if we need outside feedback is important. It'll help stave off well-meaning but potentially derailing opinions we were probably better off not hearing.

A good rule of thumb I’ve learned to apply before involving anyone else is asking myself this question:

“Am I looking for advice/feedback or am I looking for praise and comfort because I feel insecure?”

Whatever the answer is, will help you figure out what to do next.

If you’re simply looking for comfort, then all that matters is confiding in someone you love and trust. If you are looking for feedback / constructive criticism to enhance, improve or revise then there are a few more questions I recommend considering through this process.

1.   What are you planning to do with the feedback you receive?

This question will help you narrow down the pool of potential advisors. We all have strengths and weaknesses…turn to someone you admire, trust and would like to emulate.

2.   Be intentional with your questions and write them down.

We sometimes ask without being prepared to truly hear and receive feedback. Sometimes it’s like a knee jerk reaction. Focus on one topic at a time to avoid miscommunication or misunderstandings.

3.   Remember the advice provided is not a rule, but a guide.

If you’re anything like me, sometimes when feedback is provided, we enter a negative spiral and avalanche of self-doubting thoughts.

Remind yourself that ultimately you are in control of how to proceed. Maybe the advice you received helps you stop and incorporate a point of view you may have never considered or were aware existed. Other times, it may reinforce confidence in your choices. Ultimately constructive criticism, feedback or advice is simply a tool you should learn to use as needed.

Learning to trust your own judgment is a skill that strengthens as you put it into practice.

Seeking advice or feedback from external sources can be helpful, however over relying on it tends to work against us and may intensify our insecurities if sought out indiscriminately.

If you didn't get the result you were looking for, simply regroup and recalibrate.

Happy Growing!